Another sunny day in Imperial Las Perlas Hell, fearfully anticipating what they’re going to feed us for breakfast. Thank goodness the taxi is coming at noon to take us away from our misery to the airport.

The conversation in the room this morning went something like "Jon is a suspected homosexual.  He curled up against me in the night, and breathed down my neck!", "Peter stuck his butt in my face!", followed by plenty of fart jokes. One had erected a boogie board in the centre of the bed to protect himself from the others. That’s teenaged boys for you. The Easter Mummy did visit, however, much to the delight of Ben and Michael.

And now, I go to my doom… to face the inevitably inedible breakfast. Perhaps I’ll just have the beer.